Alfie Scholars Learn to Cultivate Self-Compassion as a Cornerstone to Civility
Members of the 2017, 2018 and 2019 cohorts work on a exercise at the Winter 2020 retreat.
Haley Cummins (Communications ‘21), Christiana Tembo (Electrical Engineering ‘21), Elizabeth Vargas (Social Work ‘21), Adrian Nava (Nursing ‘21) work on a group exercise.
Chloe Zabrek (Business Administration and Accounting ‘20) and Richard Pallangyo (Computer Science ‘21) work together on an exercise.
On Saturday, January 11, a total of 21 Alfie Scholars from the 2017, 2018, and 2019 cohorts, along with members of the Alfie Team, gathered for one of their day-long retreats centered on the psychology of civility. Led by Alfie Team Member and psychotherapist Scott Petit, these retreats provide a framework and tools to help the scholars understand and navigate their emotional landscape and that of others. It helps them develop and enhance their ability to be self-aware, their ability to live in coherence with their life's purpose and core values, and their ability to be compassionate with themselves.
In this session, the scholar learned tools to develop self-compassion, to discover their core belief-systems, and to regain the free choice to live in the present moment. The scholars engaged in various fun and thoughtful activities designed to establish a sense of self-awareness and enable them to listen to their inner family of selves. For example, in one activity, the Alfie Scholars did a short improv to recognize the multiple roles they play in their day-to-day life. In addition to this, the Program’s Executive Director and Founder Paula Lustbader led a couple of mindful meditations to help each scholar reconnect with their childhood self, as well as witness their feelings and beliefs with love and compassion. “The key to being civil is to be whole and own our vulnerability, as a way to connect to others’ vulnerability,” said Lustbader.
Moreover, members of the three cohorts also learned, through an understanding of the difference between feelings and emotions, to challenge core beliefs that can cause distressed feelings. Additionally, they also learned how to cultivate a compassionate inner self through self-awareness, total self-acceptance, and gratitude, among many other psycho-therapeutic strategies. “The retreat made me feel like I am in a safe space where I can share my opinion and personal information without being judged or misunderstood. I like how they teach us to believe in ourselves and have self-confidence. I like how everyone gets to share their major concerns and how supportive everyone else is,” said Elizabeth Vargas (Social Work ’21).
“The Alfie Retreat was a great opportunity to connect with our seniors and have that communal Alfie time,” said Ernesto Chacón (Political Science ’21). “It was a good chance to look deep down into ourselves and examine our foundations as people,” he added. It was a day filled with nuggets of wisdom, hugs, and laughter. The scholars left feeling a greater sense of self-worth, value, and empowerment. Even after the long, intense day, as the scholars walked out in clusters, they were excitedly talking about their experience and planning their next meet-up.
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